So for the suggestion on the last post I asked the question, “what is the last thing you purchased for under $5.00?”

bullseyeI decided to go with the suggestion from Jannah in Washington D.C. I used Jannah’s suggestion because by mentioning D.C. it will appear as though people all over are tuning in to the website. What’s that? She didn’t mention she was from D.C.? Oh, well it’s not because she’s a friend. We have fans, not friends. It’s not like we’re small time. Oh yeah, it’s also important that I say ‘we’ a lot so it appears that we have a staff of hundreds, or tens, or multiple people.

Jannah’s suggestion: “A Power Boost smoothie from the Juice Joint. Believe it or not, I’m feeling very boosted.”

I love love love smoothies. I like things that are good for me that taste good too. Smoothies are at the top of the list. My wife will tell you that I never care what I eat. It’s true. I could eat a wicker ottoman with hollandaise sauce on it and be happy. This probably stems from the fact that I couldn’t smell for several years. I had nasal polyposis. Look it up, it’s gross. Not being able to smell is closely related to taste. It’s very closely related. It’s like Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It’s like Mary Kate is the tongue and Ashley is the olfactory nerves. Both have to be working together for it to work. Take for example Full House, they both had to be there to get around child labor laws. Without them it’s just Kirk Cameron’s sister, Candace. Nobody wants that.

I had surgery three years ago and now I can mostly smell again. But, when I couldn’t taste I loved sweet things because they don’t use smell (Ashley) as much. Therefore, smoothies were wonderful.

It all started in 8th grade during my Language Arts class. We had to give how-to speeches. My speech was on how to make funny looking people out of two liter pop bottles, balloons, and a Sharpie. You blow up the balloon and put it on the top of the pop bot…you get the point. I remember my speech and I remember one other.  John Mark gave his speech. John had been a superstar athlete because he matured before everyone else, but he was slowly moving away from it. He had also been the catcher when I was the pitcher for the lowly little league baseball team, the Red Sox. We won 3 games in two years. I could see his eyes through his catcher’s mask and he would often look out the side of his eyes away from my pitch when I was getting ready to throw. There are some theorize that it was because my pitches moved as fast as a Hyundai Scoupe pulling a tractor, giving him time to look back in enough time to catch my “fastball.”

Anyway, he gave his speech on making an orange julius. I was glued to it. All you had to do was put in concentrated orange juice, milk, ice, and a dash of vanilla. I went home and tried it. From then on I’ve been enjoying smoothie related beverages. It is the only thing that I’m an expert on. I feel like it’s cheating. They taste so good, and are good for you. Crazy. I am also happy that in the last five years there have been a 4000% increase in the number of places that sell smoothies. However, I hate the ones that hardly use fruit at all. I asked for a smoothie, not a slush. Oh, and Sonic, it doesn’t count if you throw a handful of seeds in there to try to trick us.

On a side note, the line between smoothie and shampoo is getting blurred. They keep adding more and more fruit to shampoos. I don’t remember anyone ever saying, “my hair is okay, but it would be a whole lot better with some papaya juice in it.”

Below is a list I have made up of names that sound like they could be a smoothie or a shampoo. See if you can figure out which is actually a shampoo.

Mango Berry Essence

Morning Strawberry Sunrise

Cranberry Aloe Soother


Autumn Apple Splash

Okay, my next prompt for a suggestion is this: Name something you love but are ashamed to admit.

Cool sign-off I have yet to think of!


About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

3 responses »

  1. Tiffany says:

    My secret love is cereal for dinner. I loathe cooking, and I love cereal, so I cheat a LOT and have cereal for dinner. My favorite, though, is Cocoa Pebbles…and believe it or not, I consider this healthy. I’m a sucker for kids’ cereals, despite being nearly 30-years-old.

  2. Jason says:

    OK…do you remember that late 80s/early 90s girl group Wilson Phillips? I still love their music.

  3. Speedy Gonzales says:

    I love the movie Erin Brockovich… and I am a guy.

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