So, we just established a new record with four comments on one post. That beats the previous record of three comments, and doubles the first record of two comments. So, I’m feeling pretty good about things.

After much thought I decided to go with Tiffany’s suggestion:

“I totally loved Paula Abdul and MC Hammer, but what kind of nerd listens to Wilson Phillips at such a young age?! :P

The street I just moved to is Berkeley, which always seems to me to be spelled wrong.”


First, Tiffany, to answer your question, it’s the type of guy pictured to the right that listened to Wilson Phillips at such a young age.jeffdance

Secondly, Berkeley. That looks like it was two adverbs in a row. In college my friend, Ross, went to Berkley the famed university in the San Fransisco Bay Area. One time his parents flew me out to him one way so that I could drive back with him the three days. I don’t remember too much from it, except weird roommates, some tall trees, and smokeless restaurants and bars. We hopped in his Blue Toyota Celica and took off. The two things I remember from the trip are a weird cup holder that sat on the dash and swiveled with the car so it didn’t tip over. I’m sure Sharper Image was involved in that purchase. Also, I remember not feeling too urgent to see each other after the trip.

On a side note, why is that if you live in the Midwest that if someone is from one of the coasts that when you meet them they are already 200 times cooler than if they were from Kearney, Nebraska? I’m sure that NY and CA have an equal number of idiots and undesirable people as anywhere else. Here’s an imagined conversation that someone from the Midwest might have regarding someone from Los Angeles.


Sheila and Tina are at an outdoor cafe. They are comfortable in their blouses and capris.

Sheila: “Did you hear that Debbie has starting seeing someone she met online?”  (sipping on a frozen tea)

Tina: “No. I hadn’t heard. Is that so?  (bites into a roasted turkey panini)

Sheila: “Yeah, they seem to really be getting along. His name is Terry. They talk on the phone all the time. He works with orphaned kittens to find them homes with orphaned children.”  (she says as she slides her extra large sunglasses down her nose and peers over the top.)

Tina: “But orphans don’t have homes. That’s why they’re called orphans.” (rubbing her a-little-too-preened eyebrows)

Sheila: “Yeah, I don’t really get it. Supposedly, he’s very successful at it.” (putting the glasses back in their proper position)

Tina: “Where’s he from?” (vacant stare)

Sheila: “He’s from California.” (leans in real close saying it with a mixture of pride and secrecy)

Tina: “Ooh! You don’t say?! California, well he must be some kind of surfer with a hot tanned body and a whole lot of money. Me gusta! Me gusta!” (nearly falling over in her chair.)

Sheila: “Oh, I know. I’d like to break off into his Pacific Ocean.” (spilling salad Thousand Island dressing on the ground.)

Tina: “You so funny.” (flipping the table over in excitement)


Same conversation with a different location for Terry:

Tina: “Where’s he from?”  (vacant stare)

Sheila: “He’s from Iowa.” (leans in real close saying it with a mixture of disdain and secrecy)

Tina: “Oh. Too bad for her.”  (flips table over in apathy)


 Next prompting for a suggestion:

What do you keep in your wallet/purse that you don’t need?


About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

4 responses »

  1. I want a roasted turkey panini..

  2. Jason says:

    A 2008 Philadelphia Phillies baseball schedule.

  3. Allan says:

    I wish California made me cool.

    I use the plastic picture holder in my wallet to display my movie ticket stub collection. It is better than having pictures of myself, but also shows that I don’t keep pictures of my family and loved ones readily available.

  4. Tiffany says:

    I’m a woman, so I need everything in my purse…hand sanitizer, fingernail clippers, lotion, hair ties, wallet, coupons, checkbook, pictures of my son, hairbrush…wait! I guess I don’t necessarily NEED the mini Sharpie marker that’s on my key ring…but it’s so cute!

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