Don’t forget the award winning* Mystery Hour is Friday night. The awesomeness will abound. There’s the info————————————>>>

*not award winning

bright teeth 2

So for the last prompt I asked, “What is your favorite state capitol?”

I will use Sarah J’s answer:


“Montpelier, VT. It’s just fun to say. Mont peeel ierrrr.”


I almost used Michelle’s answer because she sounds both hot and marriage material. You’re right, Sarah, Montpelier is very fun to say. It’s like these words:



Dr. Mark Ellis


Speaking of fun words. I know a lot of people who claim to have “Gaydar,” that is, the ability to spot homosexuals. I don’t think it’s real, nor not really that politically correct. I do have a similar power. I have the ability to spot Mormons. I call it “Latter-Daydar.” Call it a gift, call it a skill, call it an uncanny ability. I don’t know if you can call it politically correct either.

Moving on. Montpelier. It sounds French to me. First is “Mont,” meaning mountain and then “pelier,” meaning syrup. So, Montpelier is the mountain of syrup. When the first explorers, Pierre DeFrench and Celine DeFrenchcanadian, came across New Hampshire (which is Algonquin for Splenda) they came across Native Americans and realized that they themselves weren’t explorers, but trespassers. No of course not. Even in a made up story they wouldn’t do that.

DeFrench and DeFrenchcanadian hacked their way through the black forest that covered the area when they came upon an opening with clean water, arable land, and all the pear trees they could ever want. This, they knew would be the land to settle.

From this vantage point they could see the peak of a great mountain glowing in the distance. They thought to themselves, “Why does this mountain glow?” As they made their way to the base of the great mountain they realized they couldn’t move their feet. They were stuck in the mountain. They’re only hope was to eat away at the liquid mass surrounding their feet.

Eventually after much struggle they were able to free themselves. Yet, they still had a sticky residue on their skin so they try to lick it off to no avail. They went to the stream to wash it off, nothing. They found a bathroom in the wilderness and couldn’t get the stickiness off of them. They came upon some wipes and put them in the stream, and then wiped themselves off. These “wet wipes” still couldn’t help. So as quickly as the French came to Vermont, they left to Quebec, leaving Montpelier only it’s name.

Unfortunately for the French, they went on to settle in Montreal which is French for “mountain of mustard.” So, they had left a place that made them sticky no matter what they tried to a place that made them smell no matter what they tried. And those are the French that we know today.

Soon after another man came to explore the land. His name is lost to history, but we do know that upon his arrival he was so excited that he sent word to his mother’s sister, Jemima, to tell her the news and the potential of the mountain. The rest, as we know,  is history.

Vermont is one of the few states I have yet to visit. I’ve visited all of it’s neighbors, but not Vermont. Someday soon Vermont I will come for you.

Next prompt: Who was your fourth grade teacher?


About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

2 responses »

  1. Grant Rogers says:

    Mrs. Comstock was my fourth grade teacher. She had an identical twin, and when I saw her twin around town, I always wondered why “my teacher” didn’t know who I was.

  2. Allan says:

    Mrs. Fliegner was my fourth grade teacher. Though, for fourth grade I was a part of a great public school educational experiment. I was in a fourth/fifth combo class. That’s right, she was a fourth and fifth grade teacher at exactly the same time!

    She also happened to be the mom of my uncle’s best friend; so I couldn’t get away with anything. My parents knew I was in trouble at school before I did.

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