***Oh, man, The Mystery Hour is tonight! Bring the kids, or get a sitter, or have kids, or find some, or remember your childhood. Just get to the show! 10:15 tonight! meimprov

I think we’ve got a lot of good stuff planned tonight. I don’t always think that. I’m not always right. So, we’ll have to find out together. I did, however, put on a layer of fake tan. So if you see me tonight and think that I have a healthy glow about me, that’s why. Or I’m pregnant.

For the last prompt I asked: What is the subject of your latest dream?

I’m going to use Allan’s answer:

 

“First!

Since you have passed the 1,000 mark I felt like I should induct you into the ranks of websites that include people contributing nothing more than a statement that they are the first to comment.

Also, I don’t remember my dreams so I don’t really have anything to say.

sorry.”

 

I often don’t have anything to say. So far I’ve been keeping up with this blog though. I’ve been figuring out things to say. When I was a kid I was pretty quiet. It’s not really that I was shy, I just didn’t have much to say. I probably got it from my dad, who has a shy streak in him. My mom, on the other hand can talk like a kid who accidentally took Pixie Sticks instead of the normal Ritalin.

Never was my more quiet side more apparent than in Sunday School. I dreaded going to it. We were always always late. I would have to show up in my khaki pants, hand me down polo shirt, a brown loafers. I might as well have been wearing a tuxedo made out of fiberglass. The other kids in my Sunday School class were all from different parts of town and none of them went to my school. They always seemed to know each other. In eighth grade there was Thomas, who was tall and thin and could sit “Indian style” crossed legged very easily. There was Nate, who had red hair and liked to snicker. There was Beth, who was just quiet, but like she was planning something. I think they would go to church functions together, whereas I only went to Sunday School.

I imagine if they were describing me they would say he’s the small kid with adult sized ears. It looks like someone is holding his puppies for ransom and making him go to Sunday School. I don’t think those are his clothes. He does have a cool leather braided belt though.

In October of my eighth grade year we were all in a circle going around and one person would read a Bible verse aloud, then the teachers would help us discuss them and the next person would read. I don’t remember my teacher’s names that year, but I do remember that it was a couple. The thin man seemed sweet, like he wanted to make a difference one hour a week. his wife was heavy set and nice, maybe a little shy in her own right. They got to my turn to read and they skipped me.

Nate, in the red hair said, “Wait, what about Jeff?”

Thin man said, “Oh, that’s okay.”

I was so awkward that they thought it best to skip over me when reading the word of the Lord. That is even more awkward than I thought I was. I think they thought something was wrong with me, or that I was illiterate.

Things I would have liked to say in Sunday School class:

“Why do all church basements smell the same?”

“Apparently, Jesus loves weird silence.”

“Maybe I should get braces now, so I don’t have them when I’m thirty.”

“May I have a bagel?”

“What’s the deal with that new show Seinfeld? I bet it will last!”

“Every movie I’ve seen up to this point in my life will be remade in 15-20 years. How weird will that be?”

“I will grow up to be “normal” adult. I swear. Can I have a bagel?”

Next prompt: What is the last thing that you sold?

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

5 responses »

  1. Dan says:

    the last thing i sold was a bunch of dvd’s. included in this bunch were the 3 new star wars movies (which are utter crap), jackie chan’s first strike (which, while enjoyable, is only really watchable once), and the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy (….i don’t really know why i got rid of that one. crap, i liked that movie…).

  2. Tiffany says:

    And some churches wonder how they got a bad name…

    The last thing I sold was the collection of random stuff that came with my house. The previous owner went from this home to “the” home. She left behind random records, random (UGLY) furnishings, random dishes and random books. I had a nice garage sale and unloaded most of the stuff. The shocker was when somebody bought a ceramic toothpick holder that was in the shape of a water well and had seashells glued to it and had “FLORIDA” written on the side. Sold that beauty for $.10. 🙂

  3. Grant Rogers says:

    My couch. I gave it to my brother and sister-in-law for free…it was an old couch. They sent me a lovely card with a large amount of cash in it, as they insisted on paying for the couch. I tried to return the money, but my brother started raising his voice at me, just shy of yelling, and I thought I was about to get punched, so I kept the money. I am still, however, feeling bad about taking his money, and I’ll probably keep it in an envelope for 27 years and never spend it because to do so would make me a criminal of sorts.

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