I’m sick today. However, I do sound like Christian Bale as Batman. So the last Mystery Hour of the season wrapped. It was great season of shows. I was really happy with it. IMG_4516

For the last prompt I asked, “What was the last thing that you sold?” I will use Jen’s response, via Grant. It’s an odd thing to have a pseudonym for blog commenting and then admit to such in the next response. To each his/her own.

 

“My couch. I gave it to my brother and sister-in-law for free…it was an old couch. They sent me a lovely card with a large amount of cash in it, as they insisted on paying for the couch. I tried to return the money, but my brother started raising his voice at me, just shy of yelling, and I thought I was about to get punched, so I kept the money. I am still, however, feeling bad about taking his money, and I’ll probably keep it in an envelope for 27 years and never spend it because to do so would make me a criminal of sorts.”

 

That got me thinking of all the couches I’ve had in my adult life. There is the couch I’m sitting on now, a black leather couch, the obligatory purchase of a guy when he gets a first job. It is the only non hand me down/thrift store/flea market piece of furniture in the house besides the bed. 

Previously, I had a couch that was a hand me down from my in-laws to be. When I was done with it my roommate and I hid it in the yard of the abandoned house behind us. Not my proudest moment.

Thinking back on couches makes me think back on the roommates I shared those couches with. All in all I have had 20 roommates, not including my wife. She would be upset if I called her a roommate. We have separate rooms. No, I made that part up. 

Here are some highlights:

I will leave one letter of their name out to protect their anonymity.

Cory and Justn. These were the two I was ‘tripled’ with for the first three weeks my freshman year of college at the University of Northern Iowa. When I think back on living in a dorm room, I’m shocked that anybody lives with a complete stranger in in an 10 X 8 room. Even more ridiculous is living with two strangers in the same room. These were two big small town Iowa dudes as well. Justn caught me stealing his toothpaste. How I ran out in the first three weeks of college I don’t know.

“Hey, man. Are you using my toothpaste?”

“Yeah, but it’s okay. I’m using your toothbrush too. So, you know.”

Jy. I moved in with Jay after Cory and Justn. Nice guy, member of the jazz band, losing his hair during my tenure. I walked in on Jy and his girlfriend making out once. I opened the door and I see her sitting in the recliner that is rocking. Jy has obviously jumped on the floor because he is now sitting cross legged with a Nintendo controller in hand in front of a snowy TV screen. He was very friendly when I came in. “Oh, hey Jeff! What have you been doing? Studying? Probably, you’re a good student. Hey, good to see you. Duck Hunt’s not working.”

Wyat. Wyat was a hard nut to crack. He was my roommate when I transfered to the University of Iowa. He had long blonde hair and wore a trench coat. He partied a lot and didn’t really study. Yet, he was brilliant. Last I knew he was in medical school. He once bought Ritalin from a guy down the hall for finals week. “Dude, I studied for 14 hours straight.” He had a CD burning business. One CD $5.00. Mix $7.00. This was before anybody else had burners so he was making some cash. He also had a 110 disc CD changer. It was like a precursor to an Ipod that you needed two people to carry and an extension cord. I would often come home to find a “Jeff, 15 minutes please” note on our dry erase board on the door signifying it was alone time for he and his girlfriend. Wyat fact bonus: Two doors down was a guy named Jeff Pickel. He dropped out of school and I’ve seen him on “America’s Most Smartest Model” and some other ads. Weird.

My wife’s parents. Mik and Juli. I lived with them when I first moved to Springfield. I was friendless, homeless, and jobless. I was just the kind of guy that parent’s want their daughter to date. What was intended to be a 3 week holdover turned into an 8 month partnership. They would call my wife, who was just my girlfriend at the time, to tell me I needed to cleanup. Oh, and I got to eat their food. Yoplait. Yummy.

Honorable mentions:

Jaso. Roommate while interning at Letterman. 400 sq ft one room apartment. Inflatable mattresses. Have not spoken since.

Alex. One of seven roommates in Wales for a semester. Hadn’t showered for 8 months. Peed out his window instead of in toilet.

So, there you have it. I’m certain my roommates would have odd stories about me too. 

Next prompt: What is the last thing you recorded on a VHS tape?

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

2 responses »

  1. Brian says:

    The last thing I taped on VHS was a few small town stunts when I was in high school. These included someone rolling down a dirt dune in a tractor tire and covering a bowling ball in gasoline, lighting it, and rolling it down a street on a steep hill.

  2. Allan says:

    I used to tape tv shows all the time on VHS. Like Smallville and Dark Angel. But of course that was before piracy was digitalized and made edgy cool.

    I also used to make stop motion movies with my parent’s bulky early 90’s era camcorder. They were awful and hilarious.

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