I sit in the Denver International Airport. I am on my way back from my work conference. It was pretty interesting and fun, and now I’m ready to be home. I wasn’t able to get many posts in. Sorry to my fan.

My fan

My fan

I entered a standup contest at a comedy club out here. I try to do standup at a club whenever I visit a big city. I just look for open mics, but this one was a contest. So anyway, I got in the top three and I advance to the next round! It went really well. I don’t know the likelihood of me coming out for round two, but we’ll see.

Also, this blog is nominated for a GO Magazine Hot List award for Hot Hilarious Blogger. You should vote! Vote here. Vote as many times as you want. Maybe it can join the Mystery Jeff meal at Gailey’s and Burt Machowski from previous years. I would also be happy if you voted for my friend, Chad, at www.faircitynews.com, it’s really funny.

Enough horn tooting. For the last prompt I asked: What is a good nickname you have heard, or have?

I will use Allan’s suggestion:

 

‘”baby fat’ is by far the best and most appropriate name for our friend, Dan Clair.”

 

I agree that it is a good nickname. I gave it to him. Dan is a fellow actor with the Skinny Improv. He was also the sidekick on the Mystery Hour. Baby Fat Jones is his full blues name. You’ve got to love blues singers’ nicknames. Blues names usually include a few ingredients. Something from nature, a president’s last name, an unsavory adjective, a unique ability.

 

Here are some I’m making up using that formula:

Saltwater Taffy Jefferson

The Backwoods Diplomat

Jeremiah Tundra Kicker

Clinton Thunderwater

Moose Hilltopper

Incontinent Reggie Wilson

Psoriasis Max and the Hoovers

Richard Millhouse Nixon

I love giving nicknames. My brother, Scott, is the victim of most of them. At different times I have called him, Scooter, Tumbleweed, Garbanzo Bean, and Cynthia. Nicknames look a lot more stupid than they sound. I swear they were cool at the time.

My mind is certainly scattered today. Let’s end with a list about the airport. I love the airport, minus the motion sickness. There are so many people at a bustling airport. It’s great for people watching. I always want to find a way to meet people and entertain myself.

 

So here is a list of ideas for ways to entertain yourself at an airport:

Find Marty-There are so many people at an airport, surely one of them is named Marty. You can play with two people or as many as you have in your group. The first one to find a guy named Marty wins!

Broken Sidewalk-Stand next to the moving sidewalk. Look like you’re in a big hurry and stand still. Whenever people come by get mad because the moving sidewalk you’re on is broken.

I Can’t Believe It!- You and a friend order food from a restaurant in the airport. Whoever is more surprised, aghast, appalled at the prices wins.

Black Rolling Spot-See who amongst your travelers can spot a black rolling suitcase first.

Give Away-Attempt to give your carry-on to someone else. Whoever is beat by Homeland Security first wins.

Boogie vs Macarena-You and a buddy set up at different ends of the terminal. One is assigned Boot Scootin’ Boogie and the other the Macarena. The contestant will dance their dance. Whichever dance attracts 10 people to join in first wins. (Only need 5 people in a different country and 20 people in Texas).

B rooksit-see who can sit for the longest, without getting kicked out, on a massage chair at Brookstone.

Guess What-Chicken butt! This classic can be used with strangers no matter where you are located.

Train-Ask strangers what time the Amtrak to Springfield arrives.

Enough nonsense. I’ve missed the humidity and I can’t wait to get home.

Next prompt: What fact you learned in elementary school has stuck with you?

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

3 responses »

  1. habitgirl says:

    In fifth grade our science teacher told us that figs are a favorite birthing spot for flies. He even showed us a picture. And then went on to describe the implications for the Fig Newton – which I have not eaten since. He also taught us a lot about parasitic worms, but I often blacked out in those sessions. -Heather

  2. Leah says:

    My family and I would make up soap opera about our fellow passengers. It got pretty heated.

    I like the line dancing one and will probably try it if I can get someone to play along.

    The fact that Pluto is a planet has always stuck with me and always will. Because it is. A planet. I don’t care what science says.

  3. Editor Matt says:

    The continental shelf. It blows my mind that if the oceans drained you could walk for miles and miles and then just fall down a massive cliff.

    And I love the name… continental shelf.

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