I just finished some Cheezies pizza and grape pop or soda or coke or carbonated beverage. 417 Magazine has just published my latest edition of Favorites. This one was on Brad Noble, an internationally renowned painter who lives in Springfield. Here’s a link to the article.

For the last prompt I asked: What is the first album you ever bought?big smile

I will use Michelle’s answer:

 

“Sheryl Crow was my first CD. My first tape was Michael Jackson’s BAD.”

 

I’m going to skip the Michael Jackson only because everything has already been written about him. Sheryl Crow hasn’t had nearly as many word written about her. Sheryl Crow reminds me of my freshman year of college. She had the song about ‘if it makes you happy.’What a weird time.  You are dropped off at college and all of the sudden everything has changed. It is a time to reinvent yourself. There are different ways that people reinvent themselves in college. Here is a short list:

The Moth: This guy comes to college and completely orients his life around drinking. He’s called the moth because of their attraction to porch lights. He spends his freshman year trying to convince everyone that he’s an alcoholic…in a good way. His name is usually something like Tyler or Chaz or Brandon. He often wears American Eagle shirts. His dorm room smells like a day old party sub made out of socks and vinegar. Conversations with him usually go like this:

Jeff: Hey Chaz, wake up.

Chaz: Aaaaaahhh, hey!

Jeff: How you doing?

Chaz: Oh man. I’m so hungover right now. Last night I had sooo much to drink.

Jeff: Is that why you’re sleeping in the drinking fountain?

Chaz: Ha. What? Oh. Yeah, I guess. That must be why I’ve been dreaming about bidets.

Jeff: Yes. Probably.

Hometowner: This guy comes from what he believes is the best city ever. He will compare every new experience to some experience he had in the best city ever. Every new experience pales in comparison to where he is from. His room is very organized with pictures of former teams and historical markers from his hometown. He packed a lot of socks, just in case. He can’t believe how bad the food is in the cafeteria. His name is usually something like Craig or Greg. A conversation with him usually goes like this:

Jeff: Hey Craig

Greg: It’s Greg

Jeff: Oh. Can you believe how hot it is out here?

Greg: Yeah, actually I can. Where I’m from, Cedar Rapids, it’s like 40 degrees hotter. We make cereal there. You think this is hot? You should feel that. One time I saw a guy’s Saturn Vue melt in the middle of the street.

Jeff: Oh, that sounds hot.

Greg: Yeah! You couldn’t handle it probably. You know, you remind me of my friend, Andy. Only he goes to Berkeley. He’s a lot taller than you. He was a state champion in track. He could probably beat you in a race.

Jeff: I was above average in sit and reach.

Greg: I did it laying down. I called it lay and reach.

Jeff: Oh.

Grassroots. This guy comes to campus and gets in on whatever the latest social jusice cause is. There is nothing wrong with his opinions, it’s just that they change all the time. Plus, when he was in high school he was the biggest plastic wasting, non recycling, seal clubbing, grandma hating, CW loving jerk. Now, however he grew his hair out, got thick rimmed glasses, and stopped wearing belts. His name is usually Trevor, Skyler, or Brian. A conversation with him usually goes like this:

Jeff: Hey Skyler

Skyler: It’s just Sky now.

Jeff: Okay. What’s with the sign?

Skyler: I’m protesting protesting.

Jeff: What?

Skyler; I’m tired of people protesting things, so I’m protesting it.

Jeff: What does your sign say?

Skyler: P.U.P.P.I.E.S People Using Protesting Propaganda Is Enemies of the State

Jeff: Don’t you see that what you’re doing is ironic?

Skyler: Down with irony!

The Don: This is the guy that has been in the dorms for four years. He has the corner. People see him by appointment. He sells things to people. He could mistakenly get transferred to a prison and he wouldn’t know the difference. He doesn’t leave his room. He’s the guy who knows how to get stuff. He’s constructed multi level lofts in his room, making the square footage that of a small house. He’s always wearing shorts, no matter what the weather. His name is always Tanner. A conversation with him usually goes like this:

Jeff: Permission to enter.

Tanner’s asst: Permission granted.

Jeff: Hey, Tann…

Tanner’s asst: Don’t speak directly to him.

Jeff: Sorry. Keith, will you ask Tanner a question for me?

Tanner’s asst: Yes.

Jeff: I need to buy some toothpaste. Why’s it so dark in here?

Tanner: It soothes me, along with my Soundgarden. Help the man, Keith.

(Keith opens a trunk that glows yellow as he opens it)

Tanner’s asst: Okay. Which kind do you want? Tarter control? Whitening? Whitening Expressions? Gel? Paste? Travel Size?

Jeff: Ummm…

Tanner’s Asst: Hurry. Your time is limited in the inner sanctum

Jeff: Tarter control.

Tanner’s asst: Your first one’s free. You’ll be back.

Jeff: Oh.

(Tanner burps and rolls over)

Next prompt: What is something that would be useless to you on a deserted island?

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

One response »

  1. allan says:

    evacuation procedures for the international space station.

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