I didn’t get any comments on my last post, but that’s okay. I’ll keep telling myself that it’s okay. You all obviously don’t understand that I write this blog so I can get some stability for my shaky self esteem. meimprov

I don’t like blogging about what goes on in my boring everyday life, but I will this time just to see where it leads. Last night I went to a Springfield Cardinals baseball game. Beautiful night and my date was equally beautiful. The lovely Dan Clair.

Here are some random thoughts:

-Baseball would be really exciting if, when the ball is popped up, and right when it starts it’s descent the ball turned in a tiger. All of the joy of catching foul balls would be gone. The same joyous feelings would be replaced by first, astonishment and then unbridled fear.

-During between inning games that involve movie trivia it’s fun to yell out the answer as always being Hotel for Dogs.

-If you see a homeless guy named Victor that you’ve given a ride to before, don’t believe him this time if he says he’s selling tickets with the proceeds benefitting children. Especially don’t  believe him if scurries off into the parking lot after your encounter.

-Baseball would be more exciting if you can pick up second base and run with it. You would still be touching the base so you couldn’t get out, but the caveat would be that the fielders could throw the ball at you to get you out. You can block it with the base, but they throw it really hard.

-If I could choose my song while walking up to bat it would be ‘Living on a Prayer.’  The whole stadium would be singing it and it would also be an accurate representation of my chances of getting a hit.

-Baseball would be more exciting if every player had to wear a shock collar. The remote for the shock collars is in the hands of the opposing team. They can only use it twice during the game. There would be so much excitement as the guy’s running third. Will the opposing team use it? Will they save it for the ninth inning? So much strategy to be had.

-I think the home team should get to decide if they want to paint the baseballs different colors. I would superimpose a magic eye poster on the ball so that when the batter is looking at it they can’t decide if it’s a baseball or a unicorn.

-People go bonkers at the chance to win a $3 t-shirt. If they were throwing out $3 in change no one would care.

-I would never get a hot dog at the ballpark. They’re probably good, but they will attract tiger foul balls.

Next prompt: What was your favorite food growing up?

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

6 responses »

  1. mara says:

    i thought a comment might help with your self esteem issues.

  2. Jarrett Dawson says:

    youre describing blurnsball:

    “baseball? baseball was as boring as mom and apple pie. thats why they jazzed it up!”

  3. Shanners says:

    I like your shock collar idea the best. I’d like the tiger idea better if it was tiger cubs – then I’d want to catch one.
    My fave food growing up was cheese blintz. I’d only get it at Grandma’s and on special occasions. I missed it so much, I bought a crepe maker and tried it myself – once. Now Grandma lives w/ Mom, so she makes it every Christmas and for my birthday if I’m lucky. I gave her my crepe maker.

  4. Amanda says:

    Peanut butter and bacon sandwiches on toast. Delish. It’s still probably one of my most favorite foods.

  5. allan says:

    your previous post lost out to harry potter and the half blood prince, both of whom i believe enjoyed butter beer as children.

    however, avoiding magical things with great success i grew up craving and devouring cantaloupe at every opportunity.

  6. Editor Matt says:

    boiled hot dogs. macaroni and cheese and spinach.

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