The Mystery Hour has made it into the finals of the GO Magazine Hot List. We’re up for Hot Hilarious Blogger. The voting begins anew each week, so if you’ve voted before you should vote again! You can vote here.
Ever since I was a little boy I wanted to one day be an accomplished blogger. I remember, I used to say to my dad, “Dad, someday I want a communications revolution to happen whereby people can talk to each other through their computers. Then I want people to become so narcissistic that they think that other people really want to hear all of their mundane thoughts. The name for it will be a shortened version of the words web and log, whatever those are. Eventually, when I’m bored enough I want in on the game. I want to be so important that I’m recognized by a tri-weekly free publication in a small niche category where there aren’t even enough people to qualify in the category that the editor has to nominate his own blog. Then, Dad, I want to dominate that editor in the finals.” So here we are! I’m one step away from fulfilling my childhood dream.
Here is a video of a bit we did in January. It’s one of my favorites. There were some tape damage issues, so the audio drops a little bit, but enjoy it!
For the last prompt I asked: What is the last thing you purchased online?
I will use Heather’s answer:
“I just bought some photo prints from snapfish – which is a bit mundane perhaps, but, they were photos of 30 or 40 headstones belonging to deceased members of my extended family. For some reason the alive portion of my family just took a vacation that involved a tour of all the dead parts. And I thought, “Hey, when you visit family you should take pictures.”
I like Heather’s answers, they’re always very quirky. They make me wonder what goes on in your family. I love cemetaries. I really like the history of them. I could spend a long time in a cemetary and nevery get bored. One time I thought I was going to have to spend the night in a cemetary because I had gotten lost in Wales on a bike trip. I didn’t start in Missouri and end up in Wales. I started in Wales, but I was still most certainly lost.
In Iowa City, where I’m from, there is a legend surrounding a certain grave in the oldest part of town. The grave has an enormous sculpture of a black angel as a headstone. It is known as the Black Angel. It is the opposite of me, a pale mortal. The rumors are that it used to be white, but was turned black. They say that it comes to life if you kiss a virgin underneath it on Halloween. They say that if you are under it at exactly the right time that out of its fingertips will pour coupons for a lifetime supply of horsey sauce from Arby’s. At any rate, on Halloween it’s exciting when you are in high school to go see it. So, my junior year I went with my friends, Matt, Mike, Kristin, and someone else who apparently didn’t mean much to me. I was on crutches after suffering a cross country season ending stress fracture, or as football players call it, a dull pain.
We drove through the thin winding roads of the cemetary and came upon it. I was driving my dad’s company car. I think it was a Buick. There were others there. We got out to gawk at it. Just as we’re quietly snooping, from directly behind the Black Angel, a giant pair of headlights beamed on as a huge engine revved. We bolted. More accurately, the others bolted and I hobble jogged back to the car. I threw my crutches in the back seat and hopped in the front. I took off as fast as the Buick would go thinking of my dad’s admonition regarding the car, “Don’t get in an accident. Don’t scratch the car.” We made a wrong turn. I put it in reverse and was driving as fast as I could, backwards, in the dark, praying I didn’t hit a headstone.
Fortunately, I made it out of there alive with no damage to my dad’s car. I have not been back since.
Next prompt: Who has had the greatest influence on you in a negative way?