September 11,2009

It’s Friday! You know what that means…everything. Welcome to the weekend folks. You know, I’m going to try to sign off each post with a witty sign off saying. You can vote for how bad it is. When I find the worst one, I’ll stick to it. meimprov

For the last prompt I asked: What is the last thing you recorded on a VCR?

I’ll use Sarah’s answer:

 

“I’m hoping the “Jenksie” reference is for me. You know I heart cats. You’ve seen the sweatshirt, people.

Hmmm VCR… I honestly can’t remember…though I did catch a few minutes of FULL HOUSE today on my lunch-break.
MAN is that show awful now that I’m not 8.”

 

Sarah is indeed a cat lover and most likely took offense to my last post. ‘Jenksie’ is her cat’s name and all I could think of for a typical cat name. Soon, Sarah will have upwards of 20 cats. I’m inspired by Sarah’s post to write a lost episode of ‘Full House.’ Awhile back I wrote a lost episode of ‘According to Jim,’ which was highly searched, drawing a lot of disappointed people to this website. Actually, let’s make this one a reunion episode.

The Tanner kitchen.

Danny: Oooh, ooh, ooh, Stephanie, be careful with your Cap’n Crunch. You’re spilling on the floor, you know how I hate messes.

Steph: How rude!

Danny: You’re too old for catchphrases now. How old are you, now? 28? Everytime you want to say a catchphrase, think instead of putting your efforts toward getting a job.

Steph: How rude!

Joey: Hey, hey, cut it out!

Danny: Ahahaha! Good one Joey!

Steph: How come he gets a catch phrase? He’s like 50!

Danny: His is funny. He uses words and actions. You are out of control, Joey.

Steph: No one likes me.

Danny: That’s not true, Steph, we all love you very much.

Steph (motioning toward Michelle): They don’t

Danny: Sure they do. Hey Michelle, eat some breakfast, you’re wasting away. Hey! How long have there been two of you?

Michelle: There have always been two of us, Dad. Child labor laws.

Danny: Oh, weird. Why are you dressed like hobos?

Michelle (distracted): I like spinny things.

Jesse: Whoa! Have mercy!

Joey: That’s Michelle. You’re creepy.

DJ: Anyone coming out to my softball game tonight? I’ve also got an LPGA tour event going on tomorrow morning, if you guys can make it. Kimmie Gibbler will be there, of course.

Danny: Of course DJ, we’d love to come. You know we never miss an event of yours.

Steph: Uh! No one ever comes to my things.

Michelle: We are Siamese if you please.

Joey: Oh, Michelle

In the backyard.

Steph: Oh, I hate this. If they don’t notice me, I’m going to make them notice me!

Steph begins to construct a flagpole. She then climbs up the pole with a chair

Danny: Oh my gosh Steph! What are you doing? You’re going to hurt yourself and worst of all you’re going to make a bloody mess on our astroturf. You know I just cleaned that!

Steph: Pole sitting was made popular in the 1920’s. That was the last time anyone in this family cared about me. I’m going to get the Guinness World Record!

Danny: That doesn’t make sense, you weren’t alive in the ’20s.

Steph: Yeah, well sometimes I feel like it.

Danny: Strike 2 on the sense making at bat.

Jesse: Oh gosh, Steph what are you doing? We care about you and don’t want you to get hurt, or my hair for that matter.

Steph: You lie! You all lie! To quote Joe Wilson, ‘you lie!’

Jesse: Where are Michelle?

Joey: Hey, cut it out

Danny: Ha! That’s a good one! You see how he did the thing with the finger? Steph you need an action if you want to do your catchphrase.

Steph: I don’t care about my stupid catchphrase anymore. I’m just going to sit up here the rest of my life!

Danny: Yeah! Where are Michelle?

Steph: I’m not telling!

Danny: Wait a minute. Steph, did you stack your sister’s on top of each other to create a pole? You did! Why you little…

Michelle: I’m a flagpole.

Joey: Aaaaww, Michelle!

The Living Room

Cheesy music is playing.

Danny: You see Steph, you have to know that your family loves you. We love you no matter what. Family love is not about ranking, it’s unconditional. Although, if we were to rank the family it would be first Michelle, third, DJ and Kimmie, fourth, me, fifth, Uncle Joey, sixth, Uncle Jesse, and seventh Aunt Becky, and eighth, their twins, and ninth, the promise of liberty, and tenth, you. You see honey, you’re in the top ten.

Steph: I guess I understand.

Danny: We really really love you kind of.

Steph: Thanks Dad

Michelle: I just closed my eyes, but I wasn’t asleep.

Everyone: Oh, Michelle.

Danny: See why we love her most?

Next prompt: What is your third biggest fear and why?

And the band played on…

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

2 responses »

  1. arin gilbert says:

    ‘Where are michelle?’ Ha ha.
    Well done. I love the full house lost episode script.
    I’m adding you to my google reader so I never miss your posts.
    Good stuff jeff, hope you are well.

  2. Shanners says:

    I loved Full House! Ha ha!
    Third fear? That’s random. I had to think through what the first 2 would be to realize which fear would be third. I’m going to go w/ being bit or stung by a venomous creature.
    I can handle bites that aren’t too serious, like mosquito bites. But I’m afraid of brown recluse, black widow, rattlesnake, or copperhead bites – or any other of the more serious types of bites including very large and/or rabid animals. I have, however been bitten by a young tiger, which was also scary, but not life-threatening and, ultimately didn’t break the skin but left a bruise.

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