I no longer even have to put on a retainer every night anymore. I got a permanent retainer put on the inside of my top teeth. Not the inside of them, but the side that faces the inside of my mouth. In orthodontia it is referred to as the lingual side. I also have one on my bottom teeth, making me…wait for it…bilingual. It’s just a wire going across the back of the teeth, but it feels weird.
For the last prompt I asked: What is wrong with you?
I will use Amanda’s answer:
“I’m too full of leftover frozen pizza.”
Sorry for the sassy prompt, I just felt like I needed to say it. You know who I don’t generally like? People who decide that they are the ones called upon to ‘tell it like it is.’ ‘Tell it like it is’ is simply a euphemism for, ‘I think it’s okay for me to be a jerk to everyone.’ Along those lines, whenever anyone says, ‘I don’t mean to sound like a jerk, but…’ means that they are going to sound exactly like a jerk. Well, let me take a second to tell it like it is to the ‘tell it like it is’ people: people only pretend to like you. Yikes, that sounded harsh.
Anyway, back to the suggestion, I love frozen pizza. In college I would eat a whole Jack’s frozen pizza in one sitting. My apartment used to have the cardboard circles strewn about all over as my roommate and I would eat as we played Super Tecmo Bowl. Then, one day I read the nutrition facts on accident. They have an unbelievable amount of fat in them. That is the day I made the switch to Lean Pockets. That is also the day I started blurring my eyes when I look for the cooking instructions on frozen food.
Here is a listing of the things people say after eating frozen pizza:
“I can’t tell, did we remember to remove the cardboard?”
“After eating that I think I will need to decide sooner rather than later what I want written on my Tombstone.”
“Honey! I can’t find season three of Grace Under Fire.”
“Is it WebMD.com or .org?”
“I think the Totino’s has declared war on my lower intestine. Fascist.”
“Why do you always get to be Bo Jackson?”
“Can I have a Lipitor with my coffee?”
“That was not delivery.”
“Somebody just shot down the Red Baron and he is plummeting quickly, if you know what I’m saying.”
“What if we started a business where we sold frozen pizzas at the same price to people under the guise of a regular pizza place and we convinced them it would be better if they cooked it themselves at home?”
“Great idea Murphy! You’re the best dad.”
Next prompt: What is your favorite one syllable word?