October 16, 2009

Here we are. It is Friday. The weekend is nigh. Mystery Hour Oct 13 001

For the last prompt I asked: What do your socks that you are wearing look like?

I will use Shanners’ answer:

 

“How was the food at Dagwood’s? Always wondered…
Boy am I glad I wore cute socks today! Who knew I’d be asked about them? So, my very cute socks are black w/ red toes and heels, sparkly red and pink lipstick prints all over, and they say “kiss me” all over. One even has a red puff ball on the back of the ankle, but sadly, the other one does not. Thanks for asking.”

 

I’ve got to give a shout out to Grant for the post as well, it’s nice to hear from you again. I could probably go for a long time about corn socks. Something drew me to Shanner’s answer, however. I think it’s the juxtaposition of pink lipstick prints and dirty socks. That sounds enticing and disgusting all at the same time. That is sad to hear that you have but one puffball these days. Puff balls on the back of socks makes me think of my Grandma Norma. She has always worn socks with the puff balls. I couldn’t ask for a better grandma than Norma, or my Grandma Joan, or my childhood neighbor, Betty.

You know, I’ll make a list of attributes that every great grandparent possesses.

 

Here it go:

Balled up Kleenex in the pockets–If anyone my age did that I would be grossed out, but for grandparents it is somehow okay.

-Slacks and blouses–I wear pants and shirts.

-Stories about what they ate during the Depression. “I once gnawed on a hacksaw covered in mustard.”

-Great sayings from a bygone era–“You can pin a tail on a donkey, but don’t pin your hopes. Next thing you know you’re following the ass of an ass.”

-Basements that smell the same–Every grandparent’s basement smells exactly the same. I think it’s a cocktail of mildew, dust, and McCarthyism.

-Saying embarassing things at the wrong time–“I got my Metamucil mixed up with my laxative. I tossed it right down the ole gullet. So you’re his fiancee? It’s nice to meet you.”

-Grudges…old…old…grudges–“I’ll tell you why I don’t eat Vlasic pickles. Vlasic was the name of the pediatrician that used to care for your father when he was a boy. I’ll be darned if that doctor didn’t give your father chickenpox just to spite me. He had it in some vial of some sort. Oh, he said he didn’t do nothing, but I know he was sore at me for insulting his wife at a dinner party. It’s not my fault she walked like an upright water buffalo.”

-Inordinate number of things saved–“That is a color TV. In the Soviet Union they would kill for it. I am not getting rid of it.”

-Their programs–Grandparent’s have their favorite shows, they call their programs. Wheel of Fortune tops the list for every grandparent, followed in no particular order by Dr. Phil, 60 Minutes, Deal or No Deal, The Hallmark Channel.

-Greetings that involve their health–“Come here, give me a hug. Oh, oh, not too tight now, my sternum has been falling out lately.” “Great to see you, I’ve got the psoriasis.” “Hello Larynx…I mean Larry.”

-An RV.

 

Next prompt: What was your last Facebook status?

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

4 responses »

  1. R.H. Wilhoit says:

    “R.H. Wilhoit is feeling feverish…Uh-oh.

  2. Amanda says:

    I’ve caught myself doing the balled up Kleenex in the pocket a few times lately… apparently 25 is the new 75.

    My last facebook status:
    “Shakespeare’s and Sparky’s make going to Columbia and back on a Wednesday totally worth it.”

    My friend Sarah’s car broke down in Columbia a couple weeks ago, so on Wednesday we made a little road trip with our boyfriends to go get it. Sarah treated us all to Shakespeare’s pizza. Yes, it does in fact take 4 people to pick up 1 car.

  3. Tiffany says:

    My last facebook status was just an off-the-cuff joke:

    “Be sure and check out Food 4 Less and their Massive Meat Sale…who couldn’t use some massive meat?!”

    And I know, it’s wrong on many levels.

  4. Shanners says:

    My Dad always carried an actual cloth handkerchief. I was always amazed that he would let me blow my nose in it – then put it back in his pocket. And I used it – a LOT!
    As for my FB status – it was from last night, but is stil applicable tonight:
    Shannon Ruhe Gonzales is shivering IN the house! Is it the ice cream I ate or the messed up thermostat or the old windows/doors that don’t keep the cold out as well as they should? Probably all of the above – either way, I think hot cocoa is the best answer. 🙂
    P.S. kudos on posting four days in a row! I’m impressed.

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