October 29, 2009

I am chewing some “Extra” gum right now. You can’t go wrong wih Spearmint. Although, recently I decided that it was okay for me to chew fruity gum again. I had thought that I couldn’t do that as an adult. Well, screw you convention. I’m a rebel. I’m a rebel that smells like Berry Smoothie.

For the last prompt I asked: What is the most expensive thing you have ever broken?

I will use Matt’s answer:

 

“Humpty Dumpty. Man, you would not believe what all the king’s men are making these days…”

 

I wonder what would happen if all the king’s horses and all the king’s men were able to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. How would Humpty Dumpty have turned out?

 

The scene begins at the Java Joint, where the king’s men hang out after work.

Humpty Dumpty walks in

Humpty: “Heyyy-o! Humpty is in the house! What is happening Java Joint?”

Kings Man #1: “Oh great, look who’s here.”

#2: “Why did we ever put him back together again? He has the biggest head.”

#3: “That’s his body.”

#2: “I meant figuratively.”

Humpty: “Hey, hey, fellas. Good to see you. Look at my cracks they’re starting to heal. No, seriously, look at them.”

#3: “Humpty, I remember them. I still have your yoke on my hands.”

Humpty: “You know that in the 1,500 year history of the kingdom, there have only been 2 rescues like that by the king’s men.

#2: “We’re aware.”

Humpty: “Usually you guys are out fighting battles and dragons, but not when old Humpty went down. You guys were right there. I must be pretty important.”

#3: “Yeah, Humpty. You’re very important.”

Humpty: “It just makes a guy appreciate life. I used to be down on myself a lot, but then I figured out how awesome I am. I probably don’t need to tell you guys that I was having some pretty dark thoughts while sitting on that wall. There are those out there that say that I jumped. I won’t confirm or deny that.”

#1: “Yeah, Humpty, we know.”

Humpty: “All the king’s horses even came out. That’s pretty cool. Hey, I never got to ask, where did you guys get the glue from to put me back together?”

#3: “Well, Humpty, we have one less horse now.”

Humpty: “Oh… Ooooooohhhhh, worth it!”

#4: “Don’t you think you should be going now?”

Humpty: “Nah, man, I’m cool. The Humpty dance is your chance to do the hump…do the Humpty hump, everybody do the Humpty hump.”

#1: “No one is doing your stupid dance.”

Humpty: “The ladies are. Oh yes, the ladies are. People say, ‘yo, Humpty, you’re really funny looking.’ That’s alright cuz I get things cooking…”

#2: “Stop it.”

Humpty: “My first name starts with the word, hump. I hadn’t discovered that before. Now it’s like, ‘Humpty! Heyyyy–oooohhh!'”

#3: “You are so cocky.”

Humpty: The ladies are always like, ‘Humpty, does your name signify what you do? And I’m like, ‘maybe.’ I try to stay aloof and classy. Humpty! Heyyy-oooohhh!”

#3: “You’re still talking.”

Humpty: “I’m comin in here like a dump truck droppin bombs. My last name starts with ‘dump.’ I’m trying to work that in too.”

#3: “That’s stupid.”

#2: “Dump trucks don’t drop bombs.”

Humpty: “They don’t yet! Humpty! Heyyyy-oooohhh!”

#1: You know what, Humpty? You hungry? Do you want the rest of my food?”

Humpty: “Humpty ain’t too proud for that. The ER bills are killing me.”

#3: You like that?”

Humpty: “Yeah, what is it?”

#3: “It’s an omelet.”

Humpty: “Cool, what’s that?

#3: “Eggs”

Humpty: (sheepishly) humpty? heeyy-oohh?

Humpty falls off the chair. All the kings horses and all the kings men wouldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

Next prompt: What would you be willing to do to get to your favorite food?

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

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