November 16, 2009

I’m back from the land of Indiana, or as the native americans say, ‘land that used to be ours.’ Indiana is not that different from Missouri, just more nose jobs (I was in a rich area). Lemmon_Houghton_1984_F

For the last prompt I asked: “What is in the drawer nearest you?”

I will use Sarah’s answer:

 

“hilarious. many of my spam comments are just nonsensical combinations of naughty words. like poetry.

my secret stash of starbursts is in my desk drawer. i just realized starbursts don’t have a tag-line (like “taste the rainbow” or “makes mouths happy”). They should.”

 

I feel like a lot of products have inaccurate tag lines. Sarah, you mention, Taste the Rainbow, for Skittles. If that is what a rainbow tastes like then they fascinate me a little less. The yellow in the rainbow is actually Yellow #5. Advertising essentially needs to tell you that you have a need, it is unfulfilled, you deserve to have it fulfilled, this particular product will fill that need, and in the end it will make you happier than you were. I like it that Best Buy currently has decided to skip all of those steps straight to the end and say, ‘You. Happier.’ Sorry, Best Buy, the 6 foot coax cable did not make me any happier.

 

How about a list of products and what their actual slogans should be:

-Starburst. Impossible to unpeel while you’re driving!

-General Motors. Thanks.

-McDonalds. You will McRegret it!

-iPhone. Connecting you to everyone, except the people around you.

-Subway. Try to get that song out of your head.

-WalMart. Do you miss Mom and Pop stores? We’ll sell you one, aisle 4.

-Starbucks. Your socially acceptable drug dealer…okay, just your drug dealer.

-Snuggie. A robe that hates your back as much as you do.

-Kay Jewelers. Every Kiss begins with bribery.

-Old Navy. Jump on board the crazy boat.

-Axe Body Spray. You too can smell like a teenager, trying to smell like an adult, trying to smell like a teenager.

Next prompt: How do you sleep at night?

 

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

3 responses »

  1. Dan says:

    are we talking position? well then, i start on my back. i must. i don’t know why, but i simply cannot fall asleep on my side or stomach. for that matter, i find it hard to sleep on my stomach at all except for when i’m in the beginning stages of waking up/hitting my snooze button. then it’s like stomach sleeping is the bee’s knees.

    do bee’s actually have knees?

  2. Allan says:

    With a clear conscience. No one can prove a thing.

  3. Amanda says:

    Mythology says that if you sleep on your back and you’re a female, an incubus (male demon) sits on your chest and makes you have bad dreams. If you’re a male, a succubus (female demon) sits on your chest and makes you have bad dreams.

    I bet Dan snores a lot, sleeping on his back. I feel bad for his significant other.

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