December 3, 2009

The Mystery Hour is TOMORROW night! One of the guests is Mayor Jim O’Neal. It is every citizen’s duty to be at the show, he said so. Every attendee get’s 20% off their sales tax for a month. Not true.

I will use the prompt I asked last time later. Today, it’s time for the ever popular segment, Top Search Items. We’ll reveal what search terms brought people to this website and explain their dissapointment level upon arriving at this website. These are weird, and makes you wonder about people.

Humpty Dumpty. This was by far the leader in searches. I tried doing the search myself and found that it took more pages of search results to get to this website than I had patience for. Disappointment level: 14 gooey King’s Men.

The opposite of right is the opposite of. Deep. Disappointment level: The sound of one hand clapping

 Mystery Rash. This website offers no solutions or ointments. Disappointment level: 3 days of itching and oozing.

don’t hit me, i’m just an exchange stude . I think this one ended abruptly because the foreign exchange student had just been hit. Here’s a hint, if you’re about to get hit, while in a different country, don’t try to look up solutions for getting out of the situation. Disappointment level: Same as Americans seeing the exchange rate while abroad.

screw you smoothies. This can be taken two ways. One, out of anger at smoothies, “Screw you smoothies and your nutritional value!” or someone was not looking for a strawberry banana smoothie, instead, they were looking for a screw you smoothie. Yummy. Disappointment level: 4 packets of Turbinado

how to put hands in opposite pockets. Answer, wear your pants backwards. Dissapointment level: The opposite of finding ten bucks in your pocket.

Golden Corral commercial the bird says n. Let me finish that, “The bird says, never go there…without at least one senior citizen.  Disappointment level: Broccoli in the chocolate pudding.

what goes opposite of right 4 times. Left, left, left, left. What could this search have possibly been for? Is it a riddle? Disappointment level: a timeout after nap time.

male on male chestsitting. Physically impossible to do at the same time…oh wait…that’s gross isn’t it…oh, what…I’m leaving.

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

3 responses »

  1. Amanda says:

    Sorry, I think one my answers prompted that last search term…

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