January 6, 2010

The Mystery Hour is two days away, and it is going to be a good show, well it’s planned to be a good show, reality may differ.

Kirby Van Burch is going to be on. He is a big deal. He’s a bigger deal than our little show. Yet, he’s going to be there anyway. This is him:

For the last prompt I asked: What were you doing last night at 7:30?

I’ll use Katya’s answer:

“I was walking around downtown Vancouver, BC. Beautiful city!”

I have heard that Vancouver is beautiful, but I have never been there. I’ve never been to Canada. I’ve been to other, further away countries, but I’ve never been to the vanilla part of the neopolitan that is North America.

Once, on vacation in Wisconsin, Canada lite, my brother and I went were instructed to go to the grocery store for ice cream. Scott and I couldn’t figure out what flavor of ice cream would please the diversity of tastes that make up my family. Taking this into account we got a tub of neopolitan.

Neopolitan was the perfect solution as it provided three flavors that could be enjoyed in a variety of different ways. Someone could have plain vanilla, plain strawberry, plain chocolate, or vanilla and strawberry or vanilla and chocolate, or strawberry and chocolate, or all three flavors at once. So, not only did we provide the family with three original flavors, we also provided them with four more combinations, giving them a total of seven flavors. We could have gotten pralines ‘n’ cream and one person would have been very happy, but would not necessarily have helped the greater good.

It was with a feeling of great triumph that we entered our lakeside cabin.

Scott: We’re home!

Jeff: We got your ice cream.

Cari: Just a second, it’s the final puzzle on Wheel of Fortune.

Jeff: Why are you watching Wheel of Fortune?

Cari: It’s vacation, you’re supposed to watch Wheel of Fortune.

Scott: Fine, but we’ve got the ice cream ready to go.

Cari: Better man, butter man, bet it up, Better manup! Better manup!

Pat Sajak on TV: Sorry, it’s Beatle mania

Mom: Good try Cari.

Jeff: You know how everyone has different tastes, but we had to go out and get ice cream for everyone? Well, we used our noggins and decided to go with…NEOPOLITAN!

Cari: Gross

Jon: Yeah, that’s sick

Mom: I’m disappointed in you boys

Dad: Stop it.

Scott: What? It has everything.

Mom: Yeah, but it’s not very good.

Jeff: How can you say that? Do you like vanilla?

Mom: Yes

Jeff: Then you like neopolitan. Do you like strawberry?

Mom: Yes

Jeff: Then you like neopolitan. Do you like chocolate?

Mom: No

Jeff: You know what? You still like neopolitan! You don’t have to eat the chocolate part.

Scott: The colors of neopolitan might as well be red, white, and blue because there is nothing more American. You get choices, you can make whatever combinations you want, even purple mountain majesty.

Jeff: Preach on!

Scott: When our forefathers came to this nation, they came here seeking freedom, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and the freedom to choose. They thought that one day someone will be able deliciously freeze the cream that comes out of the domesticated cow. Ice cream was their dippin’ dots, it was the future.

Dad: Stop it.

Cari: Okay, but it’s still not very good. Why didn’t you just get vanilla?

Jeff: We did! We got vanilla and chocolate and strawberry.

Jon: It’s not the same.

Jeff: Just don’t eat the other parts, there you go, it’s that simple!

Scott: When our grandparents went through the Great Depression, resources were slim, there was barely enough to go around. You know what? They banded together and got through it together. It didn’t matter what color you were. You could by white, black or red.

Jon: Who was red?

Scott: The Native Americans, haven’t you ever heard that?

Jon: Can you say that?

Dad: No. Stop it.

Scott: We’ll say the sunburned pale people or the Communists.

Jeff: Guys, it doesn’t matter! Everyone can have whatever they want! It’s a miracle! It’s like Jesus feeding the 5,000 with a loaf of bread. Do you think anyone went up to him and said, ‘I just want white bread?’ No! It was all whole grain.

Mom: It’s just not the same.

Jeff: You guys are killing me!

Scott: When Woodrow Wilson started the League of Nations it was because it is better to have everyone working together…

Dad: Stop it.

Jeff: Fine, then we’ll take it back.

Cari: Well, don’t do that.

Next prompt: What have you been forgetting that you just remembered?

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

2 responses »

  1. Amanda says:

    While I was eating lunch an hour ago I thought of something interesting I wanted to look up on the internet when I got back to work. Now that I’m back at work I can’t remember what it was. I was hoping typing this out would help me remember. It didn’t.

  2. Shanners says:

    I just remembered to update my blog. 🙂 Thanks for reminding me.

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