January 12, 2010

Good afternoon party people.

For the last prompt I asked: Who is your arch nemesis?

I’ll use Jason’s answer: “Bert Convy. Even though he’s dead the scumball still gets me.”

 If you don’t know who that is, don’t feel bad, I had to look it up too. Bert Convy was a game show host in the ’70’s and ’80’s. He hosted Password, which I remember. We would watch it at my grandparent’s house and put a big brown pillow over the bottom of the screen to cover up the answer. It was a soft, ribbed, oversized pillow. Going over to my grandparent’s house was one of the most fun things ever. First of all, this is my grandma:

Secondly, we could do whatever we wanted and she thought it was precious. My parents would take a trip every spring break, so we would go to my grandparent’s house for the week. The first thing my grandma would do is take us to Randall’s grocery store and we could go through all the aisles and pick out whatever food we wanted. At home, we didn’t eat sugary cereals. We had things like Grape Nuts, Grape Nuts Flakes, Cheerios, and occasionally King Vitamin (Anyone remember King Vitamin? There was a picture of an older guy on the front in a crown, not a cartoon, a picture). Going shopping with Grandma Norma, however, meant we could run up and down the aisles like the kids who won the shopping sprees to Toys R Us on Nickelodeon. We would nab Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Pinwheels, Fudge Bars, Chips Ahoy, or any other crap we could get our grubby little hands on.

Then we would spend our mornings watching Price is Right, and Denise Austin workout shows. We would spread out as best we could in the small living room and try to keep up with the spunky host. Whatever fitness we gained, we quickly lost on overdoses of Cheese Nips, they are cousins to Cheez Its, only better.

One year I kept a diary while I was there. I must have been nine.

March 21, 1987

Today, I woke up and guessed the showcase showdown within $1,000, but I didn’t get anything for it. Scott bit me. I put some Pinwheels in with my Trix and now my stomach feels like the time I accidentally swallowed those tadpoles. Grandma Norma is nice. Grandpa Orrie is nice too. Today, we dressed up like we were in a band. Maybe someday I can be a singer. Cari says I sound like a fat man suffering with sleep apnea, whatever that is. Anyway, I’m having a great time.

Now, it’s time for the bonus. Here is a listing of what would be great game show host names:

Ted Chaching

Squinty Newburg

Peter Whistlestop

Cheeks McWalters

Roger Fiduciary

Bruce Nowhammies

Next prompt: Where did you get the pants you’re wearing today?

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

3 responses »

  1. Amanda says:

    Express. That’s where most of my dress pants come from. I’m a slave to the “young professional” look.

  2. Shanners says:

    I’m wearing hand-me downs. I don’t know where they were originally purchased, but they didn’t fit someone right, so they gave them to me. They don’t fit me exactly right, either, but they’re stretchy, which is always good after the holidays.

  3. allan says:

    i’m wearing loaner pants. they are blue and i don’t have to wash them.

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