March 1, 2010

Show is this Friday night—————————->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I just got back from my favorite weekend of the year, True/False film festival in Columbia, MO. It is one of the best, if not the best, documentary festivals out there. Incredible documentaries, they fly in directors and subjects from the films, and it’s cool standing in line and talking with people. You should go next year. I will save you a seat. My favorite was a film called Restrepo. When it is released, run to go see it.

For the last prompt I asked, “What will you do for your first activity on Saturday?”

I will use Jenn’s answer:

“Tomorrow I will wake up in a hotel that is a very nice hotel, but one that does not offer complimentary continental breakfast. How does a hotel get a three-star rating and 5.0 out of 5.0 costomer points on Expedia without a continental breakfast? It must have a killer in-room coffee pot. So besides the activity of waking up, I will make 4 cups of complimentary coffee in a really great little coffee pot.”

I would be remiss if I did not include her follow up as well:

“Edit to previous post: The first thing I really did this morning was answer the phone while I was still asleep. It was my mom, telling me that my 4-year-old, who I’d left with her overnight so I could enjoy the nice hotel, puked her guts out at 4:30 a.m. Rise and shine…time to go home early. No coffee from the incredible pot for me this morning.”

Sorry your wonderful hotel morning did not turn out the way you hoped. It’s another example of what my mom always told me, “You can never trust a 4 year old.” Your comments are ripe with inspiration for me, there’s puking, coffee, answering the phone while asleep, Expedia. I am going to choose the continental breakfast angle. According to the Wikipedia entry, the term continental breakfast originated in 1641 when the heads of states of various countries in Europe would convene quarterly to eat dry and cold food.

The experience of eating continental breakfast at a hotel is universal, no matter what city or what hotel you are staying at.

Here are the things you’ll see at a continental breakfast:

1. Oozing waffle irons. The hotels have figured out what a way to make you question the necessity of waffle chefs. Fill up a cup with batter, put it in the metal thing that looks like the inverse shape of what you want to eat, turn metal thing over and watch the clock go backwards while the batter flee out of the sides like Los Angelinos heading for the freeway in Independence Day.

2. Yogurt swimming in cold water. To be fair, the water was originally ice when it was put out at 5 a.m.

3. Retirees there for the day. They live only a few hours away and didn’t plan much of anything for the weekend getaway. They will often become the expert about one particular aspect of the continental breakfast because they’ve been there back when the water was ice. “Now, if I were you I’d put that bagel in the right toaster slot. If you put it in the left you’ll end up with a black bagel, and nobody wants that. Right Charlotte?” Charlotte cackles in agreement.

4. Bananas cut in half.

5. A teenager who can’t believe that she has to be on vacation with her family. She has her iPod on and is texting her boyfriend Nick, who misses her “like Edward misses Bella.”

6. Syrup on your elbow. You didn’t partake in the waffle, yet somehow, you get syrup on your elbow. It was from the table and it will be with you all day.

7. Cereal housed in containers from NASA. These are containers that aren’t seen anywhere else in the known world. They have an elaborate twisting and pulling mechanism similar to the International Space Station.

8. 10 year olds playing in a soccer tournament nearby. They remind you of when you used to try at life too.

9. Dale, the man in charge of the continental breakfast area. He tries really hard, but he spends most of his time cleaning up spills from the “think they’re better than you patrons that you have to treat like royalty, even though you’d like to shove a bagel up…”

10. Jeff Goldblum

Next prompt: What was the last thing you wrote on your hand?

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

2 responses »

  1. Katie says:

    Right now the back of my hand says:
    Shower gift
    Tonight: plan Cali!
    The palm of my hand says:
    Reserve a racquetball court
    Peanut butter
    Where is my birth certificate?

  2. Shanners says:

    I don’t intentionally write on my hands, but I like to use pens with purple ink, and for some reason, purple ink tends to leak. So I end up w/ purple splotches on my fingers because I also like to hold my pens too close to the tip. I don’t know where I was when they were teaching kids how to hold pens and pencils, but I’ve since learned that I do it wrong. So I get purple ink on my fingers.

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