March 17. 2010

Happy St. Patrick’s Day. I wonder what St. Patrick thinks about his day now. I’m sure when he was alive he was thinking, “I hope I am commemorated by alcoholism, crappy weather, and Irish pride from non-Irishmen. Yep, that about sums me up.” I’m going to try to write this post as fast as I can and put even less time into it than normal. If you haven’t been disappointed yet by a post, you will now.

First, here is another clip from this past show. The city called (seriously) and asked us to come up with something involving a crowd for a video they were putting together to try to get the new Google broadband beta project to Springfield. Here is what we came up with.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/video/video.php?v=1105130724912&ref=mf

Yep, that’s it. That’s what we came up with. Did you read the comments? They’re funny too. The commenters on there aren’t nearly the caliber we have on here.

For the last prompt I asked, “What is directly behind you?”

I will use Michelle’s answer:

“not too long! I read the whole thing. a bookshelf is directly behind me.”

Bookshelves make me think of libraries. Whenever I go into a library I immediately have to pee. I don’t know why this is. My mom says that once when I was a kid I was out of her sight for a bit and she found me running around with my pants off. I was not allowed to attend prom because of it. No, that was early on in my life, maybe that had something to do with causing this problem.

Strangely, I have the same sensation when I am hiding. Granted, I don’t hide as much as I once did, due to legal proceedings. Somehow, it creates the sames urges. When I’m in a library I’m seeking a book that is hiding and when I’m hiding someone is seeking me while I hid.

The library is another place with a lot of good characters. There is always something going on with them, but because they’re in the library, a quiet zone, you can’t find out what it is.

Here is a list of people that you will see in a library.

1. The addict. This man is not addicted to drugs, he is addicted to the library. Usually, he is wearing flannel, sweatpants, and velcro shoes. He has a bunch of books in a grocery sack and crumbs in his beard. It is wise to stay out of his way as he barrels towards his prize.

2. High School student. If it is near closing time this person is frantically trying to figure out how to find a book on Woodrow Wilson because he has a project due the next day. He has a pocket full of coins for the copy machine, paste in his hand, and posterboard in the other. You can here him mumbling about his idiocy. Oh yeah, and he has glitter for his project, that is leaking on the carpet. If it is early in the day this same student can be found on the internet looking up Megan Fox pictures. As he sits in his parents’ living room late into the night trying to figure out if he has enough glitter for his project, but not being able to get anymore because of the late hour and his inability to drive, he questions if the Megan Fox gawking session was worth it.

3. Librarian. She misses her cats. That’s why she keeps a locket of their fur in a vial in her pocket.

4. Creepy guy. He’s on a mission to find something. He wears a brown leather jacket, a straight billed ‘Norton’s Tire and Wheel Service’ baseball cap and a weird smile that tells you that he has a secret, one that says, “I’ve been looking at old National Geographics on microfiche, not for the articles.”

5. Old person. They are there to look in the reference section, the equivalent of what we, today, call the internet. They want something to corroborate their assertion from an argument with their son the other day that P.T. Barnum was missing an eye.

6. You. You have to pee.

Next prompt: Who do you call the most, and why?

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

One response »

  1. Tiffany says:

    Since nobody has taken the time to comment on this one yet, I shall take pity.

    I have a tie on the person I call the most: my father and my ex-husband/baby daddy/current boyfriend. That’s right, he’s all 3. I’ll give you a moment…

    Anyways, they are my two most-often talked to. My father is my advisor on all things in life (he’s my guru) and my significant other is just fun to talk to.

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