April 30, 2010

Happy May Eve everybody. Remember to stay up until midnight so you can see the May Day pole fly in delivering toys to all the good boy and girl pagans.

I’ve just added our second guest to the next show, and that person is Paul Sundy, the owner of Big Whiskey’s, Parlor 88, Whole Hog Cafe, and probably a bunch of places I don’t know.

Here is a second clip from our Cowboy Kenny Bartram interview:

For the last prompt I asked, “What do you look forward to when you get off of work?

I will use Katie’s answer:

“On Mondays, it’s always racquetball. Most other days of the week, I look forward to sleep and/or dinner.”

Racquetball, the sport for the angry. Have you ever scene someone playing raquetball with a smile on their face? That’s what croquet is for. What’s great about racquetball is that you can play without any finesse and get by just fine. Most sports you have to use some restraint, you can’t just play angry the whole time with abandon. However, with racquetball, you can hit it as high, or low, or long, or sideways as you want, and you are playing within the rules of the game! The only drawback to racquetball is that you have about an 83% chance of losing an eye at some point. It’s not one of those things where you have to be careful because there is a chance you’re going to get hit in the eye, you are probably going to get hit in the eye.

Some will say that you can just wear protective gear like rec-specs. Have you ever worn those? They get fogged up more quickly than Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet in the back of a Model T, in the cargo bay of a sinking ship.

Did you know that the very person writing this diatribe on racquetball was the University of Northern Iowa second semester 9:00 am racquetball class champion? It’s true. Google it. I beat a guy whose name I can only assume was Trevor. The match was a close one with individuals of people looking on with rapt attention, or apathy, I don’t remember. Plus, this was a rare outdoor racquetball court. That’s right, no back wall or ceiling, just some kind of side walls. It was basically hitting against the side of a building.

It was kind of like the handball scene in “Big,” without the fighting, and I was not a man in a teenager’s body. Although, today I am a teenager in a man’s body. Why do they keep remaking “Big” by the way? Sure they put different titles on it and Matthew Perry and Jennifer Garner pretend to be Tom Hanks pretending to be a teenager, but it’s the same thing. Someone should make the opposite movie.

How about the story of a man who goes to a fortune teller machine who wishes he was a teenager? He wakes up in his house and he’ s a teenager. He goes from New York to a small suburb and he gets a job at a weapons manufacturer, and falls out of love with a woman, and gets a crappy two bedroom ranch style home with no cool toys, and he plays a tiny banjo with his boss at a famous weapons store.

Next prompt: What does your most current voicemail say?

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

One response »

  1. Spencer says:

    I got a voicemail this morning from a number I didn’t know. They must have butt-dialed me and proceeded to leave a 3 minute message of what my guess is them in their car wth a friend. They were singing to the radio, which entailed an off-key version “1985” by Bowling For Soup. How embarrassing.

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