June 9, 2010

Well, The Mystery Hour season four is in the books. Friday night’s show was hot. Hot, as in the air conditioning wasn’t working, that kind of hot, because the air conditioning actually wasn’t working. Our next Mystery Hour will be a special concert/highlight show in August. We’ll be getting some of our favorite bands together and showing highlights in between their sets of the best highlights of the last four years. Four years? It’s almost like we’ve graduated high school. Next, it will be The Mystery Hour: The College Years. Hopefully, it will last longer than that show, though.

For the last prompt I asked, “What is something that you get irrationally excited about?”

I will use Heather’s answer:

“Books. New books. Old books. Books in stacks. Books on a shelf. Bookstores. Book clubs. Scholastic Book orders back in elementary school. Books.

Oh, and Elvis Presley in Jailhouse Rock.”

So, you like magazines, huh? Cool. Everyone fondly remembers the Scholastic Book Fair. I hope they’re still going around. I imagine they are, that is a pretty good deal they’ve got going on. Kids get really excited, and parents are excited too since their kids are interested in books for the only time out of the year, so parents buy kids more books than they need in hopes that it will afford them some iCarly free time.

You know, here’s what I want to do with this one. I’m going to write a Saved by the Bell: The College Years episode that involves a Scholastic Book Fair. I will combine my opening paragraph idea with the comment. Here we go:

Saved by the Bell: The College Years. Lost Episode.

Zach walks in on Screech in their dorm room

Zach: “What are you doing, Screech?”

Screech: “Oh, Hi Zach. I’m harvesting my toe bunions to use for a science experiment for one of my classes.”

Zach: “Gross”

Slater walks in wearing a tank top. He spins a chair around and sits down on it backwards.

Slater: “They had to cancel my wrestling practice. There’s a stupid book fair in the gym.”

Zach: “No, no, no…that’s not stupid, that’s brilliant. There’s a girl in my Psych class that I’m trying to get with. I’m trying to make a move before she learns too much in the class and knows to stay away from guys like me.”

Slater: “So…”

Zach: “So? The point is, she thinks I’m stupid. If I can prove to her that I like to read, maybe she’ll want to go out with me.”

Screech: “Sounds great, maybe they’ll have a book about corn harvesting…and I don’t mean the kind you eat.”

Shot of a tiny gym that seems like it would be way to small for any college, let alone a wrestling practice. There are book racks and people milling about.

Zach: (brushing his blonde locks to the side) “Oh, perfect, a book on drawing funny cartoon characters.”

Professor Lasky: “Zach, I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Zach: “You know me, sir, always wanting to learn. Right guys?”

Screech: “Well, actually, he came here to impress a l…”

Slater: “a-a-a-a love of learning sir. He came here to impress a love of learning on the younger generation.”

Professor Lasky: “Well, I must say, I’m very impressed boys. Keep it up.”

Zach: “Thanks, Slater, I owe you. Don’t you think it’s odd that we see him everywhere? Are other professors like that? He’s way too involved in our lives, it’s kind of weird.”

Slater: “Yeah, next thing you know, he’ll start dating Kelly. That is highly unethical. He’ll probably do it though, he’s uber creepy.”

Zach: Oh, there she is.

They walk up to a girl from behind with blonde hair.

Zach: “Well, hello little lady”

The girl turns around

Slater: “Oh know, it’s Leslie”

Zach: “Leslie?

Slater:  “You know, fake Jessie. You know, she’s like Jessie from high school, but just a little different because we’re in college.”

Zach: “Oh, hello Leslie. What are you reading?”

Leslie: “It’s a book about how to make 101 paper airplanes. It’s called, “Make 101 Paper Airplanes.”

Professor Lasky walks by

Leslie: “Did he just sniff my hair?”

Screech: “Probably. I’m Screech, and I think that’s weird.”

They walk away from her.

Zach: “Well, hello my dear”

Girl from class: “Hello. You sit behind me right? In Psychology 101, because that’s a generic name for a class.”

Zach: “You’ve noticed me?”

Girl: “Yes, you’re always talking on that giant cell phone.”

Zach: “Yeah, as you can see I also like to read. I’m at a Scholastic Book Fair, so as you can see I’m a scholar. What book do you have?”

Girl: “The Death of Ivan Ilyich.”

Zach: “Whoa, they have that here?”

Girl: (sarcastically) “Yes, scholar, they do”

Zach walks away dejected to the other guys.

Screech: “I found it! ‘Having Funion with Your Bunion”

The guys are all in the common living area of their dorm suite.

Zach: “Well guys, I guess I just have to learn to be myself. I can’t be someone I’m not and try to get someone to like me. It’s just too hard.”

Slater: “Yeah I guess that’s true.”

Zach: “Hey, is Professor Lasky bathing himself sitting naked in our kitchen sink?”

Fade to black.

Next prompt: What is the last thing you drank today?

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

2 responses »

  1. Amanda says:

    Water. Always drinkin’ water, all day long.

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