August 2, 2010

Happy Birthday to my grandma. My grandma Joan, not Norma who speaks the words to popular songs. Joan does equally awesome things.

Big news, we have added a band to the lineup for the very special Mystery Hour concert! Just when you thought the lineup couldn’t get any better, we have added one of my favorites, The Preservation Society. They have played the show a couple of times and make sweet, sweet music. The bad news is JJ Alberhasky won’t be able to perform as he lives in Iowa and has a one month old baby. He’ll come some other time though.

Do not not go to the special Mystery Hour!

For the last prompt I asked, “How do you protect yourself from the sun?”

I will use Sarah’s answer:

“these are so cute. i’m going to go eat some ice cream and cry.”

Okay. Not quite pertaining to the question, but I’ll take it. I chose not to use Allan’s answer because it involved an image of him in the buff and my optic nerve is still weeping. Sarah, I assume you were referring to my previous post. Why is it that when a woman is sad she eats ice cream? It’s almost a given that it will happen. I feel bad for ice cream, I think it deserves to be associated with happy times.

I used to eat ice cream with my roommate while sitting on his futon watching American Idol. That’s pure happiness.

Let’s think of other things that are getting the shaft from sayings or cliches.

-Racehorses. Why do people associated holding their pee and then finally releasing it like a garden hose with how racehorses piss? I bet some of them don’t hold it in and just ‘tinkle’ sometimes.

-Red headed stepchildren. There are plenty of them that fight back and win.

-Bending over backwards. Sometimes this is not doing anything extra, it’s doing exactly what was asked. Could you position your self over this porcupine, and look under the table on the other side?

-Kool Aid. This is pertaining to the drink getting the shaft, not, I repeat, not the Kool Aid man. He’s giving everyone the shaft by breaking down their shelters. The saying, “drink the kool aid” refers to the Jonestown Massacre, where followers of a cult drank poisoned Kool Aid to kill themselves. I would really love to hear about a cult headed up by the Kool Aid Man, where of course they drink Kool Aid. I’m looking at you to make this happen, Christopher Nolan.

-Shirt off your back. Maybe it doesn’t want to leave. Stop giving it away, it has it’s own value.

-Fear. I don’t think it’s the only thing we have to fear. Badgers, for one.

-The not sharpest knife in the drawer. I think the problem is the drawer, not the knife. Bad things are bound to happen if you’re keeping your knives in a drawer.

-The shaft.

Next prompt: What are you doing Saturday night at 7:30?

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

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