September 3, 2010

I have been busy. Yuck. But, here I am. Did you hear that the Mystery Hour is tomorrow night? It is indeed. Not only that, it is the Season 5 premiere, which means only one thing…a new intro video! We just filmed it last weekend and I’ve got to say I think it will be awesome.

Here are some pictures from it:


For the last prompt I asked, “What are you doing tonight?”

I will use Derek’s answer:

“In Mt. Vernon selling my baseball card collection to a guy who is trying to make up for his stepson’s deadbeat dad who sold his the kid’s collection. Craigslist saves the day!”

Oh, baseball cards, most guys’ introduction to capitalism. If you are a woman and you ever want to settle your man down because he’s angry, or worked up, or out of control for some reason just ask him to remember his baseball card collection. He will turn to jelly immediately. He will immediately tell you a story about getting his cards as kids. I remember riding bikes to Kwik Shop to get cards. We would always get Topps when we started out because those packs had a piece of gum inside that was a cross between gum and jawbreaker. There was such an element of surprise when you opened a pack, not knowing what cards would be inside. I suppose there isn’t any equivalent to that when you are an adult. Except for, I suppose, not knowing the sexof your baby before it’s born. But, even then, it doesn’t come out with a piece of gum.

Then, you would assemble your best cards and invite your friends over to trade cards. You would have to use Beckett Monthly to make sure that you weren’t getting ripped off. I had a neighbor up the street that knew my brothers and I were suckers and he would invite his friends over to come down to our house to fleece us. “I’ll trade you 16 cards for just one of your Barry Bonds rookie cards.” I would say, “Okay.” It turns out that was a precursor to my adult life in terms of wise investments. Two current thoughts: Trading baseball cards was exactly the same as trading Fantasy players. Two, all of my old worthwhile baseball cards growing up have turned out to be steroid users. Thanks a lot guys.

Every kid collecting baseball cards was sure that he/she was going to get rick off them someday, then one of two things happened. One, their mom through out their cards. Two, the only way to make money off of cards now is to be an adult who collects them at the expense of healthy social lives.

Things you would hear kids say about baseball cards:

-Yeah! I got a Ken Griffey Jr. rookie card!

-I’ll trade you a 1987 Roger Clemens for a 1988 Jose Canseco straight up

-Someday these cards will be worth millions of dollars!

Things you would hear adults say about baseball cards:

-I remember when I had baseball cards, but I guess kids and family and growing up got in the way.

-I still have baseball cards. Shut up Mom! I’m trying to have a conversation down here! You said the basement was my space, now leave me alone! Oh, and make me some Rice Krispie treats! With the chocolate on top! Mom! With the chocolate on top!

-I’ll trade you a Roger Clemens vial for a Jose Canseco needle

Next prompt: What is your least embarrassing moment?


About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

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