September 28, 2010

So I have been crappy about this whole posting blogs thing lately. Come on Houghton, you’re better than that. That is what my junior high track coach used to say. I ate at Caspers today, which is one of the best places in the world. They serve the same chili recipe since 1910.

The next show is Friday night! ———->>>>>

Check out our guests, it’s like a legit lineup.

For the last prompt I asked: What did you do last weekend, or something, I don’t really remember.

I will use Matt’s answer:

“I don’t expect you to use this because you used my last one. But I went to Table Rock Lake, and stayed on Indian Point on a lovely place just off Boaty Rd. There was chair diving, Bad Decisions and Disney music.”

Yes, Matt, you have achieved the rare commenter repeat. That means you are really good and/or no one else posted a comment. This is not your fault, it is mine when I don’t get around to posting very often. That sounds like quite the weekend. I wish I could go “to the lake” more. People around here are always “going to the lake.” But, I don’t want to get hung up on that because it is just a means to divide people. There are the lake goers and the not lake goers. All that does is serve to break the unity that we, as Americans, could be achieving.

For the sake of research, let’s examine our society.

These are the greatest, most important divisions in our society.

Guys Who Hunt v. Guys Who ‘Duck Hunt’

There is the quintessential man out there who likes to hunt and fish and do manly things. Then there is his counterpart, the man who likes to duck hunt. This is not duck hunting with a gun, this is duck hunting with an orange and gray pistol with a cord pointed at a TV. The main difference is that the hunter believes in the spirit of the chase while the duck hunter believes in sticking the gun up against the TV to make it easier.

Bar Soap v. Body Wash

The bar soap crowd is dwindling, made up only of old people, environmentalists, and people who can’t figure out why the shampoos take up so much more space at Wal Mart. The body wash people can’t figure out how anyone could possibly still use bar soap since it involves the lathering step that they had given up like generations before gave up car starting cranks. The bar soap people don’t see why there is any need to change and don’t understand why music has to be played so loud.

Glee Watchers v. People Who Secretly Watch Glee

There is no middle ground on this one. No one escapes both of the categories. Either you watch Glee, or you watch it in your basement with the volume low. The people who secrety watch Glee will occasionally let something slip about how “they did Britney justice this week” or how “dolphins are just gay sharks.”

People Who Drive a Car to Get Around v. People Who Enjoy a Driving Experience

You know where you stand on this one. If someone asks you what is under the hood of your car and you say, “I don’t know, the front trunk,” you drive your car to get around. If you are lobbying your state congress to change the marriage laws to include the definition of marriage to be 1 Man 1 Woman or 1 Man 1 Hemi, you are in the second group.

Guys Who Wear Jewelry v. Guys Who Don’t Wear Jewelry

Guys who like to accessorize don’t understand why a guy would feel comfortable with a naked wrist or neck. Guys who don’t accessorize, put on pants and call it a day.

People Who Watch 2 & 1/2 Men v. People with Common Sense

Self explanatory

People Who Read to the End of my Posts v. People Who Give Up a Long Time Before

Did you read this sentence? Congrats on not giving up. This means that you can stare down the face of mediocrity without having to turn away. I don’t know if congrats are in order or not.

Next prompt: What kind of shirt do you have on right now?

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

3 responses »

  1. Amanda says:

    A button-down from the Banana Republic outlet. It’s not just any button-down though. It has these little fluttery short sleeves and ruffles up the front! And it has kind of a Moroccan-looking pattern in black, blue, green and grey.

  2. Jenn says:

    While we’re talking about the Banana Republic outlet, my shirt today is a basic black crewneck t-shirt, also from the Banana Republic Factory Store. This shirt contains 3% spandex making it the best fitting, never stretching out t-shirt of all time. I wear one in a different color ever day. Yes, every day.

  3. Eric M. says:

    When I am not expected to look professional (a timeslot which usually includes eight at night), or I am not in a place where I can get arrested for doing so (an example of such a place being: my house) I do not wear shirts. Good luck shaking that visual, friend.

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