November 12, 2010

Fyi…tonight is the night of the Mystery Hour spinoff series, So There I Was…It is just a storytelling deal where people get up and tell true stories from their lives. We will have four storytellers, plus a musical guest. It is at 9:30 at Q Enoteca Wine Bar on Commercial St, located right next to the big green H & R Block sign.

For the last prompt I asked, “What were you doing at 4:00 on Sunday afternoon? 

I will use Amanda’s answer: 

“I was at the grocery store with my boyfriend, getting ingredients to make hamburgers with guacamole mayonnaise. We were taking a break between Vikings and Chiefs games, because sitting on the couch for 8 hours straight is somewhat ridiculous. Although I have done it many times.”

Wow, what a great girlfriend. Sitting on the couch for hours watching football? I have done that before and I feel worse about myself than when I started. I love that grocery shopping is a completely different experience for men and women. For women it involves a list, comparing prices, and an encyclopedic knowledge of which brands are best for which products. For men it involves necessity. “I’m out of Hot Pockets, so I will go to the place that provides me with more Hot Pockets.”

Comparison Grocery Lists Male/Female

Female: Mediterranean Organic Kalamada Olives

Men: Canned Black Olives, because they fit on fingers.

Female: Fresh Slices of Brie from the deli

Male: Cheez Its

Female: An array of vegetables

Male: V8 Fusion. You can’t taste the veggies

Female: Strawberry Ice Cream, Vanilla Ice Cream, Chocolate Ice Cream

Male: Bucket of neopolitan

Female: Dough, sauce, cheese, vegetables. Ingredients for a homemade delicious pizza

Male: Totino’s Pizza Rolls. It was made somewhere, it could have been a home. Who am I to judge whether this was made in a home or not? It’s a dollar.

Female: Special K. Tasty, yet slimming

Male: Cookie Crisp. Tasty, yet turns the milk into chocolate milk. It’s like getting two treats for the price of one.

Female: Packaged Chicken Breasts

Male: Chicken in a Biscuit. It’s chicken, it’s in a biscuit, and it tastes like a cracker. It’s like a cracker neopolitan.

Female: Purina Low Fat Dog Food

Male: Forgot to get dog food.

Female: Freshly squeezed orange juice.

Male: Freeze pops. They will be freshly squeezed into my mouth later.

Female: Take reusable shopping bags

Male: Paper and plastic

Female: Skim Milk

Male: Chocolate Milk. Can you say double chocolate Cookie Crisp milk?

Female: Walk through the aisles with a shopping cart pleasantly saying hello to strangers

Male: Ride shopping cart through aisles not so pleasantly declaring that by the power of Grayskull, you have the power.

Female: Get 50% fresh food, 25% frozen, 25% packaged

Male: 50% packaged, 50% frozen, one grape.

Female: Ingredients for biscuits

Male: See also Chicken Breasts

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

One response »

  1. Michelle says:

    this is soooooooo true. oh-so-true.

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