December 8, 2010

It’s a sweater day. When I go to work I feel compelled to wear a collared shirt underneath it. It makes me look a little nicer, a little more preppy, a little more like a guy who hopes the next Muzak song is by Ace of Base.

For the last prompt I asked, “What would your guidance counselor say to you now?”

I will use Dan’s answer:

“My high school guidance counselor would probably say, “Who are you?”

Yeah, I suppose that would be an appropriate response, Dan. There are a lot of people that I remember from my past that would say the same thing. I can remember names and faces pretty well (especially since Facebook), but my concern is that I think I often remember people better than they remember me. So, it makes me hesitate to approach people because I will appear as I am, creepy.

Here is an example of what it is like to approach someone you sort of know that you have been Facebook stalking.

The Art of Talking to Someone You Facebook Stalk

Two men approach each other in the lobby of a movie theater.

Trevor: Oh, hey, Lewis. Good to see you.

Lewis: Hey, man. How are you doing?

Trevor: It’s me, Trevor. Your girlfirend works with my girlfriend.

Lewis: O-oh of course, I k-knew that. How are you doing?

Trevor: Oh, you know, just hanging around until Burlesque starts.

Lewis: I’m going to see Due Date.

Trevor: Oh yeah, that’s right, you like comedies.

Lewis: What?

Trevor: Yeah, classics like The Jerk, Caddyshack and Caddyshack II, Billy Madison…

Lewis: Yep, those are all movies I like, I guess.

Trevor: What do you mean, “I guess?” Ha! You know a lot of quotes from them.

Trevor: So what are you doing for the rest of the weekend?

Lewis: Oh, I don’t know, Jill and I are going to hangout, check out some flea markets.

Trevor: Probably a good idea, mi amigo, after last weekend. You probably need some down time. You, my friend are a party animal. How many shots did you have at Charlie’s bar? It looked like 4 or 5, but I couldn’t tell because your arm was in the way some of the time.

Lewis: Oh wow, were you at Charlie’s?

Trevor: Nope, but I pretty much felt like it. Derek and Rob and Phil looked like they were hammered too. You know Phil, that guy is a lightweight.

Lewis: You know Phil?

Trever: Nope.

Trevor: Your niece looks like a little angel, by the way.  But, I tell you what, she looked tuckered out by the end of Halloween. To see a cute little robot asleep on her mom’s shoulder was precious. What’s her mom’s name?

Lewis: Kirsten

Trevor: Yeah, Kirsten. And, when she grows up, Jordan is going to be a little heartbreaker. What is her dad’s name?

Lewis: Taylor

Trevor: Yeah, Taylor. That’s right. Too bad their marriage didn’t work out. Give Kirsten my best.

Lewis: Yep, it’s too bad. Do you know Kirsten?

Trevor: As much as I can.

Trevor: Sorry to hear that Brady got the promotion. But, as you put it best, “Sometimes bosses are sooo clueless about what actually goes on in their office.”

Lewis:Yeah, I guess they are…

Trevor: I bet it’s weird that it’s Friday now, since on Monday you were wondering, “Is it Friday yet?” Well, buddy, here it is! Although, maybe to you it feels like next Tuesday since you thought Monday was Friday.”

Lewis: He-he…You sure know a lot…

Trevor: That’s what friends do, we take an interest in each other’s lives.

Lewis: Okay, what have you been up to?

Trevor: Well, apparently not farming very well.

Lewis: What do you farm?

Trevor: A little bit of everything

Lewis: This must be your down time of year.

Trevor: No such thing, my man, I have to be diligent. Farmville ain’t gonna farm itself. It is brutal out there. You probably see all my updates on the old feed.

Lewis: Actually, I block all Farmville stuff

Trevor: Oh, I can see that. At least you don’t block me, though. Ha!

Lewis: Yeah, because then I wouldn’t know anything about you and you would know too much about me.

Trevor: Yep, have fun in Due Date! Speaking of which, when is Jill due?

Lewis: My girlfriend is pregnant?

Trevor: Yeah, I saw it on Facebook.

Next prompt: What are the highlights of your first kiss story?


About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

4 responses »

  1. Leah says:

    I pretended I bought him a shirt and had him close his eyes to get his gift. Instead of a shirt I gave him a kiss.

  2. Amanda says:

    We were watching “Scream” in my parents’ basement with a bunch of my friends.

  3. Erik says:

    here are the highlights from my first kiss

    – 3rd floor of a parking garage
    – age:22
    – she was pretending to give me a present and made me close my eyes. She then kissed me. It scared me slightly. Not that I didn’t like it but I just didn’t know it was coming and it caught me off guard.
    – it was accompanied by 3 t-shirts

    well that was my first kiss unless you count the awkward peck that happened in a play I was in in High School. And I don’t because it was awkward.

  4. danclair says:


    ok so my first kiss involved chicken nuggets, four hours, and being really thirsty afterwards. i also had a cowlick i couldn’t get rid of for 2 days.

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