December 15, 2010

It’s Throwback Wednesday! This is the day when I post an old posting. Why Throwback Wednesday and not Throwback Thursday, which has better illiteration? Because, today is the day I thought of it. Here is a little gem from all the way back in July of 2009, when things were so different. My jeans were tight rolled when I wrote this. Enjoy.

July 7, 2009

Poison ivy is still strong, but hopefully subsiding. Who am I kidding? It’s not subsiding yet.  I’ve just uploaded a new video to YouTube. Have a look at it. I’m going to re-upload it though, so it is bigger. It took me forever to get it up there, so dang it, I’m not redoing it yet. It’s one of my favorite things we’ve done, the video may do it justice.

For the last prompt I asked: What is a bad birthday present you have given someone else?

I will use Jesse’s answer:

“Color Me Badd tape for my sister. Not a terrible gift back in ‘92, but one that gets worse in retrospect with each passing year.”

That was a close one. I almost picked Matt’s answer of a Ryne Sandberg Starting Lineup Action Figure. I think that’s a great gift! Disqualified. I’m a diehard Cubs fan and I would be more than happy to have an action figure of the one of the greatest second baseman of all time.

Man, Color Me Badd. Oh man. I don’t usually add too many links or embed too much, but I think I will have to for this one, just in case there’s someone out there not familiar with them.

Yep. That’s them. Men and women all over the country were moved by this song. Moved to stop watching Arsenio Hall. They had everything you could want in 1992. They had the vocals, the baggy suits, the choreographed dance moves, the speaking during the song, the creepy fourth member. It’s strange that when you’re in the present you have a hard time knowing what will become “so 1992 or so 2009.” If I was watching this video in 1992 I would have thought, “Oh, there are some spirited young men who yearn to physically show their love to women I can only assume are their wives. Boy, they’re moving their bodies similarly at the same time.” Now, I notice all the things I mentioned previously.

So, what will it be in 2009? What styles will be so embarrassing to see again. Here are my thoughts:

1. Tight, tight, extra tight stretchy guy jeans. They remind me of clothes that your divorced aunt used to wear to hit the town, only less stonewashed.

2. Blonde highlights with dark brown hair. This may already be out of style, but it lingers. It lingers. It looks like someone with banana pudding ran their fingers through a brunette’s head of hair.

3. The term ‘chillax.’ It’s like a cheese covered chocolate bar. They’re fine by themselves, but they just don’t belong together.

4. Facial poison ivy. This will stop being cool in 2009. Starting…now.

Color Me Badd. Where are they now?

Barry, the lead singer with the small sunglasses from the video. Barry owns a Dippin Dots franchise in the Spokane Meadowmere Mall. He has four children that came as a result of too much ‘sexin up.’ He still wears the suit from the video hoping that someone will recognize him.

Charles, the singer with the dreadlocks. After inuring his pelvis due to too much floor thrusting dancing he returned to school to pursue a degree in Religious Studies at Mankato St. University. He recently published a book entitled, “I Wanna Sects You Up: A Guide to Understanding Religious Sects on the Rise.” Charles loves Applebee’s and The Weather Channel.

Maurice, the guy with the ponytail. Maurice became a voiceover actor. Whenever R rated movies are shown on TV there has to be somebody to dub the G-rated swear words. Well, from 1996 until now for the USA Network that person is Maurice. As you can tell from the video his specialty is “Oooo-Ooooo-Oooooo-Oooo-Ooo-Ooo.” But you can also hear him in the Die Hard movies saying, “Yippee kai yea Hummer Driver.” On the weekends he and his wife love to putt putt.

Chuck, the guy with the long hair, no ponytail. He has not been seen from since their last album. Although it is said that his spirit embodies every creepy guy in the boy bands since their demise. Take a real close look at the creepy guy from O-Town. Those might just be Chuck’s eyes. Update: Vince, the Shamwow guy may too be a reincarnation.

Arsenio Hall, he still hosts his late night talk show only now it’s a local non televised talk show in a mid sized smaller city. So, yeah, basically he’s reached the pinnacle.

Updated prompt: Describe your best outfit.

 

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About jeffhoughton

I'm a sometimes writer, actor, comedian and an all the time adventurer.

2 responses »

  1. 95DollarDivorce.com says:

    I liked Color Me Bad…. New Jack City Sound Track

  2. Patty says:

    You know what’s funny? Kevin (with the braids) actually did enter the ministry, so that was pretty good. 😉

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