January 7, 2011
As always the day of the show, I open up the curtains and let you see behind the scenes. Here are the Ridiculous Search Terms that brought people to this website. These are real searches, that brought real disappointment to people, so each term will have a unique disappointment level for the searcher.
Ridiculous Search Terms
-giant amanda dominate a skinny dude. I had this once before, a long time ago. Apparently, the searcher decided to come back again just to see if Amanda could finally dominate her smaller, thinner, foe. Well searcher, just so you’ll stop searching, I will reveal that she finally dominated. Disappointment level: Same as the skinny dude when he stepped into the “ring” with giant Amanda.
-close to heave colour me bad album. This one might be my favorite. I think all the albums leave you ‘close to heaving.’ Disappointment level: Bad colors produced while you’re heaving.
-tight jeans boy. Yep, that’s me. You found me. Disappointment level: Looking at old pictures of yourself with tight rolled jeans.
-wearing napkin bib. Was this person looking for instructions? Maybe a how-to video? It’s really not that complicated. Disappointment level. Oilive oil stain on the crotch of your khaki pants. Hard to explain.
-powdered wig. This means one of two things about the searcher. It was either Zombie George Washington, or a British judge. Let’s hope for all our sakes it was the latter. Disappointmen level: Constant accusations of dander.
–what’s humpty’s hour. According to my dog, whenever he feels like it. Disappointment level: Same as when it’s a big dog.
-prove wizardry is real. I just did. Check your car, it’s now a banana. Disappointment level: Your car becoming over ripe.